1. My vibrator never talks to me. Never said that it likes what I do to it. It has never commented at all. Not once.
2. It does not turn me on when my vibrator is aroused. Nor is it turned on when I am aroused.
3. My vibrator is not warm, and I can’t put my butt up against it when I want to go to sleep.
4. My vibrator doesn’t kiss on the mouth, or at all. Nor does it hug.
5. My vibrator is not my friend, and doesn’t talk to me on the phone or send me funny text messages. Also, it doesn’t care when I’m feeling blue or ask what it can do to make me feel better. And I’ve never made it laugh.
6. My vibrator does not look hot naked.
7. My vibrator doesn’t care what I look like naked, and does not notice weight loss and benefits of regular exercise at all.
8. I do not miss seeing my vibrator.
9. My vibrator has never surprised me.
10. I don’t get to date my vibrator.
In all fairness, you might also want to read 10 reasons vibrators are better than men
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LOL This one is good too! *smooches*